My Many Thanks

Funny how a year like 2011 can do so much to frame life in an appropriate & proper perspective.  Obviously, I bring this up because it is Thanksgiving Day today, and as I'm sure most of us do every year, I find myself reflecting on the things I am thankful for in my life. 

There's an adage out there that goes something like the tough times exist to make us appreciate the good times more.  Well 2011 was a year that heaped on both the good and tough times, and the wisdom of said adage was made abundantly clear to Laureen and I.  Let's just say that we are eagerly looking forward to 2012.  So in a nutshell, here are those things for which I am most grateful this year.

I am thankful for the birth of our son Johnny.  He is a joy and he has added a whole new welcome dimension to our family, even if parenting an infant is not as easy as it was six years ago with his sister.  With Johnny, we have been blessed with another exceptionally happy child who makes us all smile (probably more than any family deserves to smile).

I am thankful that Erin continues to grow in confidence and maturity right before our eyes.  I am also thankful that in many ways, I feel closer to my little girl now than I ever have.  She has a beautiful, innocent, gentle soul and I couldn't be more proud of her than I am.

I am thankful for the love and support of my beautiful wife and best friend Laureen.  In a year filled with adversity, I knew that Laureen would always be there for me... that we would be there for each other.  I say it every year, and I will stop saying it if it ever stops being true, but I feel closer to my wife now than ever before. 

As always, I am thankful for the love and support of my family.  It seems like we needed to lean on family for support more this year than ever before, and they have come through in ways it would never be fair for anyone to expect.  You guys are awesome!  You're beyond awesome!  I haven't adequate words to express my deep love, gratitude and appreciation for you all.  I don't know where we'd be without you.

I am thankful for those special moments shared with our friends this year.  As we all grow older, it has become such a thrill to watch our kids grow up together and build their own friendships.  My only regret is the distance between most of us and the fact that we don't get to see each other more often. 

I am thankful for the continued health of my Dad, my Grandmother, Laur's Mom, Karen's husband Mark, Mrs. DelaRosa, my friend Tracey, and all the other family & friends who are battling with their own health-related issues.  You are all in our prayers.

Finally, I am thankful to be living in the United States.  I am thankful for the freedoms that living here entail, and especially and eternally thankful to the men and women in our armed forces who have sacrificed to secure and preserve that freedom. It's easy to take our great good fortune for granted, having been born and raised here (and never knowing anything else).  But for all of America's faults, it is still the greatest, most benevolent nation in the history of the world. 

And so it goes (Billy Joel) - A capella multitrack

Another of my favorite Billy Joel songs... this time performed a capella barbershop quartet style by one guy singing all four parts (ahh... the wonders of modern technology). I love this one so much that I have regularly sung it as a lullaby to both Erin and now Johnny.

BILLY JOEL - VIENNA

One of my 10 favorite Billy Joel songs. It was on The Stranger, which in my opinion was one of the greatest albums ever released by anyone. It was popularized more recently when it was featured heavily in the hilarious movie Thirteen Going on Thirty.

This Is How I Disappear [Live In Mexico]

Some more My Chemical Romance for you- My favorite song off the Black Parade album- performed live in Mexico City here.

Garbage - Milk [Edited Version] (HD Official Video)

Keep your Janis Joplin, Debbie Harry, & Stevie Nicks... I'll take Shirley Manson's voice any day. My favorite female rock vocalist of all time... probably one of my 5 favorite overall rock vocalists ever (man or woman). Garbage's first album was anything but garbage. Amazing CD that everyone should listen to at least one time in their life.

Linkin Park - Bleed It Out

My favorite song from Linkin Park, another band on my list of bands I'd love to see/hear live.

My Chemical Romance - "Na Na Na" (Official Music Video)

Would love to see these guys play a live show.

Sweet & Nutty Stir-Fry

Another really good recipe from the American Heart Association website. Click on the recipe title to go to the AHA website and see the picture of the completed dish.

Sweet & Nutty Stir-Fry

Ingredients
Pasta- 4 ounces dried multigrain vermicelli or spaghetti, broken in half
2 teaspoons curry powder

Sauce- 2 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons soy sauce (lowest sodium available)
2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
1 teaspoon cornstarch
1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
1/3 cup fresh orange juice
2 teaspoons grated orange zest

Stir-Fry- 1 teaspoon canola or corn oil
1/2 cup thinly sliced onion
2 cups bite-size broccoli florets (about 5 ounces)
1 cup thinly sliced (not shredded) red cabbage
1 cup matchstick-size carrot pieces
1/2 cup unsalted peanuts, dry-roasted

Cooking Instructions
Prepare the pasta using the package directions, omitting the salt and oil and adding the curry powder. Drain well in a colander.
Meanwhile, in a small saucepan, combine the sauce ingredients except the orange zest, stirring until the cornstarch is completely dissolved. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat and boil for 1 minute. Remove from the heat. Stir in the orange zest. Set aside.
In a large nonstick skillet, heat the oil over medium-high heat, swirling to coat the bottom. Cook the onion for 1 minute. Stir in the broccoli, cabbage, and carrots. Cook for 4 minutes, or until just tender-crisp, stirring frequently.
Transfer the pasta to a serving platter. Top with the broccoli mixture. Pour the sauce over all. Sprinkle with the peanuts.
Cook's Tip
When you crave takeout but don’t want to load up on saturated fat and sodium, try this quick and crunchy meatless meal-in-one.
Adding curry powder to the pasta water not only imparts flavor but also provides a bright yellow color.

Vegetable Garden Brings Criminal Charges in Oak Park, Michigan - ABC News

I started writing this post back in late July after I read a news account of a woman in Michigan who is facing fines and up to 93 days in jail for having the unmitigated audacity to grow a vegetable garden in her front yard, but I never got back to it until today. Well, if you haven't already heard the story, a woman in Michigan elected to grow a front yard vegetable garden and is now in trouble with the local municipality.  The NERVE!! How dare she plant food to feed her family (& even supply her neighbors with the surplus) on her own property!! Imagine the gall of this woman, thinking that she has the right to grow vegetables without the permission of the local authorities.  I mean, didn't our founding fathers fight a revolution with the British Empire and found this nation to ensure that such atrocities could not occur?  She should be taken to the center of town and locked up in the stocks, or maybe burned as a witch.  She is clearly a truly hardened criminal.  If you're detecting my sarcasm, to paraphrase David Spade's character Richard from the classic comedy Tommy Boy, "I should hope so because I am laying it on pretty thick."


What is going on here?!?! Growing vegetables is a misdemeanor offense punishable by jailtime?!?!? Land of the free my buttocks! It sounds like the municipality received a complaint from a neighbor who didn't like having to look at a yard with vegetable instead of a manicured lawn. A single complaint! Now admittedly, I don't have all the facts, but on the surface, this sure looks like a clear case of government overreach. The photos of her garden that accompany the story show a very neat, well-kept garden. But this fact is really besides the point anyway. It's her property! If this single bitchy neighbor has a problem with her garden, then he/she should put up a stockade fence, or simply avert his eyes in a different direction. It's not like she has a rusty, hulking, truck chasis up on blocks... it's vegetables for God's sake!! I hope she doesn't back down... and she sure sounds like she is determined to fight this all the way.  This is the kind of insanity that makes my hair turn white and raises my blood pressure when I read about it.   Check out the story here:


Vegetable Garden Brings Criminal Charges in Oak Park, Michigan - ABC News

I am looking for an update to the story.  I'll post it if I come across anything.

Johnny right around his 5-month birthday

Johnny chowing down on his foot

My Letter to Johnny

Dear Johnny,

I want you to approach life with the same sense of awe and wonder at the age of 15, or 30 or 40 or 50, or even 100, as in these first few, formative years. Study the world with an open mind and an observant eye, for every day is a new day full of wonderful & exciting experiences.

I want you to learn at least one new thing everyday.  You may find this to be a cliche, but I believe that an inquisitive mind keeps you on your toes and will bring both joy & knowledge into your life.  It will also make you a more interesting person.

I want you to be tough... to be "macho"... to grow into a man. But always remember that part of being tough is having the courage to let your true emotions show. There is no shame in shedding some tears, don't ever let anyone tell you differently.

I want you to live your life without regrets. But not like one of these self-centered, mindless, MTV- generation narcisists who parrots, "I have no regrets", even after they've committed some shameful, reprehensible, debasing act of debauchery that they absolutely should regret. No, I want you to live life without regrets because you do not make regrettable decisions and you understand that all choices have consequences. 

I want you to understand the distinction between right and easy. You will be faced with decisions repeatedly throughout your life where one choice is the right thing to do, while the other choice is the easy thing to do. I want you to have the confidence & strength of will to choose well, for it is these choices that define who we are.  Please know that you can always come to me for guidance as you struggle with these decisions.

I want you to be happy in life.  I want you to have success in the things that bring you happiness.  And I want you to recognize that true happiness is born of meaningful things.  Things like faith, family, friends, security, love.

I want you to know that I am your father and you are my son... nothing can or will ever change that fact. There may be times in your life when we do not "like" each other very much, but please know that I will always "love" you and I will always be here for you.

I want you to know that you are my pride, you are my joy.  My son.

Love Always,

Your Father

Get Healthy With The American Heart Association

Check out this great website full of info and tools for healthy eating and healthy living, created by the American Heart Association.  It is chock full of tips, information and healthy recipes to help you lead a healthier life.  Be sure to take the Life Check Assessment for a quantifiable metric of where your personal heart health stands.  Just make sure you answer the questions honestly or it will have little or no value to you. 

http://www.heart.org/HEARTORG/GettingHealthy/GettingHealthy_UCM_001078_SubHomePage.jsp

Delicious & Healthy Recipe

Here's a good one, especially if you love asparagus like I do.  I forget where I originally got it... might have come from Rachel Ray or recipe.com.  All I know is that it tastes great:


Fusilli w/Roasted Tomatoes, Asparagus, & Shrimp
Serves 4
Preheat oven to 450 degrees fahrenheit

Ingedients-
12 Plum Tomatoes
4 TSP Olive Oil
Black Pepper & Salt to taste
1 Head of Garlic
1Pound Asparagus, cut to 2" lengths
1 Pound Large Shrimp, peeled & deveined
3/4 Pound Corkscrew Pasta (Fusiili or Rotini)
2 TSP Fresh Lemon Juice
1 TSP Dried Oregano or 1 TBSP Fresh Oregano
1 TSP Dried Thyme or 1 TBSP Fresh Thyme

1. Move oven rack to lower third of oven.

2. In a roasting pan, toss Tomatoes with 2 TSP Olive Oil and a generous amount of Black Pepper.

3. Slice the top 1/2 inch off the head of garlic and discard. Remove all loose papery skin. Wrap in aluminum foil and add to the roasting pan (with the tomatoes and oil). Put in the oven and roast for 20 minutes. Remove from oven.

4. Scatter Asparagus and Shrimp around the pan and reutrn to oven for approximately 10 minutes more (the shrimp should be curled and firm and the sparagus tender). Remove from oven.

5. Remove the garlic from the pan, unwrap the foil, and let it cool for 5 minutes. Meanwhile, cover the roasting pan with foil to keep it warm.

6.  Boil the Pasta (should take about 8 minutes when introduced to a pot ofalready boiling water).

7. Squeeze into a bowl the soft pulp from each garlic clove in the head of garlic. Mash the pulp into a paste.

8. Drain the pasta and return it to the pot. Add the remaining Olive Oil, the newly mashed Garlic, the Lemon Juice, Oregano, Thyme, and Salt & Pepper. Toss all of the ingredients to blend together nicely.

9. Tranfer the Pasta to the roasting pan, and gently toss all ingredients together. Serve immediately and ENJOY.   :-)

Our Almost 6-Year-Old Drama Queen

Boy did Erin ever pull out all the stops tonight. She and I ran over to Walgreens together. I had to run in for a few things and brought Erin along because I figured she could pick out a birthday card for Mommy. But then I made the mistake of turning down the toy aisle.

"OOOOHHHH!!!!! DADOO!!! Can I have a ball?"
"You have a ball already Erin, and you hardly ever play with it."
"Yeah... but I only have, like, 3 balls at home. And this one has Spongebob on it. Why can't I have another?"
"You don't need another ball."
"Please Dadoo?"
"No Erin. Come on, let's go."
"Please please please please PLEASE Dadoo."
"No. We're not here for a ball. Let's go."

Then she spots the pillow pets.

"Oh DADOO!!! Can I please have the Ladybug pillow pet? I've wanted her for a long long time."
"Well, your birthday is in a few weeks, so we'll wait and see what happens."
Erin begins to force out some tears (for anyone who has not yet had children of their own... it is pretty clear when your child is crying real tears of sadness or distress versus when they are simply trying to manipulate a situation with some bogus waterworks. This was a clear case of the latter).
"But Dadoo, I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY want the ladybug."
"Erin, I said maybe for your birthday."
Erin puts her head down and under her breath mutters "I guess I'm never going to get one then." Now I'm getting irritated.
"You're right... not with that attitude," I disgustedly reply. "Let's go."
More tears, whimpering, and soft muttering to herself ensue as we make our way through the store filling up our basket. Finished with our shopping, we make our way towards the front of the store, Erin moping all the way. Looking to call a truce (and ultimately losing the battle by rewarding her for her lousy behavior), I say to Erin, "Why don't you pick out a piece of candy for yourself on the way out?"
Erin, of course, makes a beeline for a particular box of Gummi Hamburgers that she has purchased before. On that prior occasion, she ate one of the candies from the box, made a face while complaining about how disgusting it was, and Laur ended up throwing away the entire box of candy.
"Dadoo, I want these."
"No. Put them back and pick out something that you actually like."
More tears. They start out quiet and gentle, but begin quickly to build to a sort of crescendo.
"But I want these... I really like them... they have Spongebob on the box... why can't I have them?"
Deep breath. Have patience, I think to myself.
"Erin, I've bought them for your before and you hated them. I'm not wasting any money on them. Pick out something you like. Maybe a Hershey bar, or a Kit Kat, or a Peppermint Patty."
"Are you mad at me!?!?!?" Borderline hysterics from Erin at this point.
"I'm getting there Erin. Pick out some other candy or you'll get nothing."
"But Dadoo, I really want..."
"That's it! Come on. We're leaving."
"Dadoo, I'll have a Peppermint Patty. Please don't be mad at me."
At this point I am totally flustered myself, trying to figure out how letting my child pick out a piece of candy turned into this traumatic scene. As we head towards the counter, Erin gets in one last, masterful little manipulative comment. She says it quietly, almost under her breath again. It makes me think of Marie Barone from "Everybody Loves Raymond", of all people.
"I guess you don't even want to talk to me anymore. Ever again. This is probably one of the worst days of my life."
As frustrated and angry as I was, it took every ounce of self-control that I possess to not burst out laughing hysterically at this quiet little outburst of melodrama. Sheesh.
Then, as we get to the car, Erin caps off the entire experience with this,
"Dadoo, when we get home, don't tell Mommy about this."
"About what?"
"About THIS... what just happened... you know, in the STORE."
"Umm, OK. Why can't I tell Mommy?"
"Because she'll probably be mad at me."
Double sheesh.

Love Hurts

A few days ago, Laureen explained to Erin how sometimes, when a little boy likes a little girl or vice versa, but doesn't know how to express those feelings, he hits her, or pushes her, etc. So now our darling little daughter has manipulated this in her brain to mean that physical aggression is a sign of affection. Countless random times per day, as Erin is passing me by, she suddenly reaches out and punches me on the arm or on the back. When I respond with an, "Oww... what are you doing?" Erin inevitably replies, "Dadoo, that means I love you."

"Taking Chance"- See it if you have not yet

What's Wrong With This Picture?

Watching the opening of Game 4 of the NBA Finals tonight, I was happy when the announcer introduced Kelly Clarkson was going to be singing the National Anthem... I think she has a great voice and was fairly confident that she would sing a nice rendition of it. But then the camera zoomed in on her there on the court in Dallas. She showed up to sing The Star Spangled Banner wearing a skintight, low cut t-shirt and blue jeans. Singing the Anthem at an event like a baseball game or basketball game on national TV is supposed to be an honor. How about dressing the part... she could have easily changed into her jeans and t-shirt when she was done singing. I know, I know... I sound like a grumpy old curmudgeon before I technically qualify as "old". Still, once again, the lack of respect for our National Anthem was in a word, Disappointing...

Send A. WEINER Packing

I have to say that I am not the least bit surprised about the Congressman A. WEINER scandal (that's right, he will henceforth be identified by his apt first initial and last name, which accurately describes not only who he is but what he is). The guy always came across as a smug, arrogant, self-righteous, pompous, little A-Hole. It seems like the biggest loudmouth media whores are consistently the politicians taken down by scandal (with Senator Schumer, mentor to A. WEINER, being possibly the one exception), and Congressman A. WEINER had sure followed in his mentor's foot-steps, becoming quite proficient at saying ANYTHING he needed to in front of a camera in order to raise his public profile. The shame of it is that he'll likely get away wth not resigning his office & still probably get elected Mayor of New York City by the sucker residents there after his congressional post is redisrticted away from him.

This man was always distasteful to me, and for more than simply political reasons. He always just seemed a little off. When this scandal first broke, I told Laureen that it would come out that he sent the photos himself, that nobody "hacked his account." With countless other politicans, I likely would have been willing to grant some benefit of the doubt, but Congressman A. WEINER always seemed like a little bit of a weirdo... a pervert even. It probably sounds crazy, but sometimes you can tell without "knowing" any facts. Charlie Sheen is a perfect example... always seemed a little creepy, a little perverted to me, and boy, has he EVER lived up to that perception recently. I never watched his sitcom because I thought it was creepy to have him on a show with an adolescent... I thought this long before any of the scandals broke about him. A. WEINER was another one, like Sheen, who just exuded this creepy perversion every time he got in front of a camera.

As to whether Congressman A. WEINER should resign his position, I think the answer is a clear and resounding ABSOLUTELY. Set the adultery, greatly offensive in its own right, aside for a second here. And as a quick disclaimer, some might misguidedly believe I have come to this conclusion based solely on his bona fide left wing idealogy and my decidedly opposite worldview. But they'd be wrong. You see, maybe I come across as some kind of prude in our morally relative society, but I think that the people we elect & send to office should be held to a higher standard (or, For God's Sake, at least to the same standard that we hold each other). Think about it in these terms: if you were running a business and you hired an employee to work for you, would you allow him to get away with "sexting" and making phone sex calls from your place of business? Would you allow him to send naked photos of himself to random people, photos that were clearly taken in your business, while he was supposed to be working? I think that the vast majority of us would fire such an employee... and I think we all know we'd VERY likely be fired for such behavior at work. Justifiably so. So why should we give a free pass to a member of Congress. These people work for US. They are employees of the American people. Something happens when they get to Washington. They get some deranged sense of entitlement... start acting like we exist to serve them and they are above the very laws they write, the very laws they serve... it's the other way around, folks... these politicians are in DC by the will and grace of the People, to serve We, the People. It SHOULD outrage you that A. WEINER possessed so little respect for his office that he thought nothing of turning it into some 21st century, electronic version of a bath house. Then he lied about it right to our faces. And these weren't even Clintonesque lies of "I didn't do it"... A. WEINER fabricated a story about a hacker breaking into his account, a la Susan Smith's "A black man kidnapped my children." To me, it is a clear cut sign of contempt for the people who elected him. A. WEINER should not go unpunished. A. WEINER should suffer as punishment a political castration so to speak. Demand his resignation. Send A. WEINER back to NY with his, ahem, TAIL between his legs.

Very cool video - Keep your damn protests away from soldiers' funerals!!

http://www.godvine.com/Christian-Veterans-Protect-the-Funeral-of-a-Fallen-Soldier-278.html

Bon Jovi - Keep The Faith

My FAVORITE favorite!

Kenny Chesney - Don't Blink

The best balladeer in music performing one of my favorite ballads.

Montgomery Gentry - Something To Be Proud Of

Another one that always gets me choked up

8th of November - Big & Rich

This song tells a true, sad story. If you like what you hear, check out the band Big & Rich. Beautiful harmonies and a blend of rock and country music with other genres mixed in for good measure.

The White Stripes - 'Seven Nation Army'

Love the bass in this song and it is an awesome video!

30 Seconds To Mars - Closer To The Edge

Another newer song that I really like.

Linkin Park - Breaking The Habit

Cool song and very cool video

Foo Fighters - The Pretender

Now one of my favorites

Justin Bieber - Never Say Never ft. Jaden Smith

More Bieber

Justin Bieber - Somebody To Love Remix ft. Usher

Erin's crush

Revolution in the Middle East

First Tunisia, then Egypt, now Libya. With stirrings & protests in Iran, Algeria, Jordan, Syria, Bahrain, Morocco, Yemen, Kuwait, Mauritania, Oman, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Somalia, and Sudan, it appears that we are at the cusp of what could be a dramatic reshaping of the Middle East & North Africa. Now I am not going to pretend to be educated about the internal specifics of each of these countries, or whether or not their rulers are good or bad. It just might be that in some of these countries, the government that ultimately arises from the ashes of this turmoil might in fact prove to be worse than the one it replaces, but it is pretty exciting nonetheless to see oppressed people anywhere rise up and unite, rise up and say "we are taking our nation back." Only time will tell how many of these regimes fall to the people of their respective nations, and only time will tell whether the ultimate results will be better for the people of these nations and better for us. But with self-determination and liberty such an integral part of our national identity and so ingrained in our spirit, it is hard not to root for these protesters... to feel a sense of solidarity with their yearnings for freedom. If these movements are truly about throwing off the shackles of oppression, then it is a special moment in history that we are witnessing right before our eyes. Something akin to the Berlin Wall coming down and the dissolution of the Soviet Union. Maybe I'm being naive, but I have to believe that a Middle East of free peoples will make the world a safer place. Once again, only time will tell...

...and you know I'll be watching.

One NIght in June

We met one June
on a noble night
We had gathered that June
to continue our fight
On that night in June
clouds of menace gathered
They drove us to shelter
They introduced us
We caught our first glimpse
That spark of life in your eyes
Your drive, your zeal,
your passion for the prize.
Over the next year
you took the reins
you were our guide
you motivated, encouraged us,
you led the way
For our next night in June
to be our finest day
Stricken by the very foe
against which we fight
you never lost hope
you kept up your fight
The cancer was strong
and it fought to consume you
But your spirit was stronger
and it could not break you
Through the agony, the frustration
you were always you
That smile, the kind words
the sparkle always shone through
Now you have lost
and we have all lost too
the world is less bright
here without you
One night this June
the night will seem colder, darker
For we won't have your smile
our beacon in the dark
Of course knowing you
has made us all better
and One Night This June
We'll celebrate you together.

Rest in Peace and God Speed, Carol Beardslee.
You were a shining example to us all. We are better for having known you.

New Erinism- Doughnut Existensialism

Here's a quick one.

This really happened.

Erin had a nightmare on Saturday night and joined us in bed. The ensuing hurricane of flailing arms and legs that is our wrestlessly sleeping 5 year old drove Laur out of the bedroom to the couch. Consequently, I woke up Sunday morning to Erin's face hovering inches from my own, her finger poking me in the center of my forehead. As the world came into focus and I gained my faculties, I groggily realized she was speaking to me.

"Dadoo... Dadoo... DADOO!!"

"WHAT?" I shot a glance at the clock and realized it 5:45 AM.

"I'm starving. Like, REALLY starving! I've been starving for like 200 hours," she whisper-whined. Clearly my little girl has a distorted grasp of time and hunger.

I removed my C-PAP mask and sat up in bed. "What would you like to eat?"

"A Pop-Tart."

So, in an effort to stave off Erin's death from starvation, I went into the still-dark kitchen and retrieved a Cinnamon Pop-Tart. When I handed it to her, she set about ravenously devouring it.

After a couple of minutes of relative peace, she suddenly stopped chewing and looked off into the distance, as if some deep thought had just occured to her. I could actually see the precise moment when the light bulb went on in her brain. Then, as if possessed, she turned to me with a serious look in her eyes. The she spoke.

"Dadoo. Here's the thing. What's the deal with you and the plain doughnuts?" I know what you're thinking... when did Erin morph into Jerry Seinfeld, right?

Dumbfounded, I said the only thing I possibly could. "What?!?!"

"What's... the... deal... with... you... and... the... plain... doughnuts?" As she so often does when dealing with me, Erin found it necessary to slow down her speech, putting extra emphasis on each word. It must be hard for her, having such an incompetente for a father.

"Um... I LIKE plain doughnuts. I don't think I understand your question, Erin."

"Well, you see Dadoo, plain doughnuts are just plain. They don't have good stuff like frosting, or sprinkles, or chocolate on them."

"OK, but I think they are sweet enough by themselves and I really like them. They're one of the best kinds of doughnuts."

"Dadoo... think about it. When the plain doughnut is in the box with the other doughnuts, it's thinking to itself, Boy I wish I had some sprinkles, or some frosting, or some powdered sugar."

"Wow... or maybe it's just happy to be what it is."

"I don't think so Dadoo. You see, it's plain."


WOW

Sheriff Doof-nik needs to resign

A lot has been written and said in the past week about the piece of human trash that shot 20 people out in Arizona in his attempt to murder a US Congresswoman. As is so often the case in our modern, "24 hour news cycle", much of this information has been plagued by half-baked speculation and partisan pandering. Chief among the panderers has been one Sheriff Clarence Dupnik, who will henceforth be referred to as Sheriff Doof-nik. This man has seemingly spent more time and energy since the shooting running around doing morning talk shows then he has actually perfoming the duties of his job. His lack of professionalism in the face of an ongoing investigation is a disgrace to law enforcement officers everywhere. His behavior in spouting his personal armchair psychologist's view of what caused this psychotic nut job assassin to carry out this evil plan is irresponsible at best. Were he a patrolman on a professional police force rather than an elected official playing sheriff, I'd wager he would face disciplinary action or even dismissal. And call me cynical and jaded, but I don't recall Sheriff Doof-nik or his compatriots on the left decrying the lack of civility in our national politics when every frothy-mouthed borderline Commie halfwit with a microphone, a camera, and a signal was screaming from mountaintops that "Bush is a Nazi", or "Bush is a Fascist", or "Bush is a Liar," or "Bush is terrorist", or "Bush is evil". Need I go on? Now, substitute the word Bush with Rumsfeld, or Ashcroft, or Cheney, or anyone else that the Left despised during the Bush Administration. He, like so many like-minded individuals, is totally transparent. As a law enforcement officer, Sheriff Doof-nik, you should understand better than any of us common folk that facts matter. You see, facts are facts. They cannot be as we would like them to be... they cannot be bent and manipulated to fit our convenient, fundraising party-circuit friendly world-view. They simply are. And had the facts bore out that this piece of scum was truly a right wing fanatic driven mad by the rantings of Michael Savage and Glenn Beck, then your theorem about the Right Wing Hostility towards elected officials would appear sage-like. Alas, poor Doof-nik, your theory doesn't hold any water, as it has become clearer that this murderer was just some unhinged nutjob who had been reading The Communist Manifesto, a book I would imagine not commonly found in the possession of Right-Wing Hate-Mongers. Former classmates have described him as apolitical, while one classmate actually referred to him as a leftist. Meanwhile, one need only devote a couple of minutes to looking at his writings to see that he was clearly deeply disturbed and that Left/Right politics had little if anything to do with his rampage. This is why you are wrong, Sheriff Doof-nik. This is why you should resign as sheriff and perhaps pursue a job working for the DNC, or maybe Move-On.org, the Huffington Post, or some other outpost where your loony left wing ideas would reach a sounding board of like-minded loonies. Hey, maybe you could even utilize your new position to bring your cherished civility back to politics. I won't hold my breath.