After a prolonged hiatus from my writings, and on the eve of the ninth anniversary of my marriage to my best friend and true partner in everything, tonight felt like a good night to reflect on our relationship.
We met in college as little more than kids back in 1993. It definitely was not love at first sight. In fact, Laureen was shy and I was a brash, opinionated, judgemental imbecile, so we thought that Laur was a snob or worse, the B-word when our greetings went mostly unreturned. All except Mike "POPE" Anderson. He always insisted that Laur was an awesome girl that we just had to get to know. Give her a chance, he insisted (incidentally, the best advice I have ever taken in my life... thanks POPE, wherever you are these days). I'll never forget the night we were finally formally introduced. It was Homecoming of 1993, and being sans date for the dance, I had opted to skip it altogether for an all-night shift on our campus radio station (WNKR at the time... now WNSU). Laur had attended the dance with Brian Wachtler, a strange dude who was an aquaintance of mine. He brought her into the radio station following their return from the dance, when they stopped in Rosenthal for a midnight snack. She looked great and struck me with her smile and her gorgeous eyes that I had somehow never taken notice of before But alas, she was taken, or so I thought. After Laureen left the booth and headed into the cafeteria for some post-midnight grub, Brian requested that I play a song and dedicate it to her from him (I believe it was a Billy Joel song). I cued it up and got ready to play it, and Brian suddenly began to brag to me about how he had gotten to dance with some other girl at the dance, and how he had wanted to put his hands all over her, um, behind. He laughed and headed into the cafeteria after Laureen. Somewhat disgusted, I nonetheless played his requested dedication. Lucky for me, it didn't take Laureen long to figure out what a weirdo creep he was.
Over the next month or so, our paths began to cross more and more (we only had about 500 on-campus residents, so we saw an awful lot of each other). We played pool together on Halloween (in costume, no less). She began eating meals with my friends. We hung out together with Rusty listening to and discussing music. We became pretty good friends in a very short period of time. By Christmas, I was officially interested in dating her, but was too much of a weanie to ask her out. I did score some brownie points, however, when I called her over Christmas break (I believe the only college friend who did so). Then, after returning from Christmas break, after about a month of waffling, I finally did ask her out... and I got shot down. I was devastated and probably almost destroyed any future shot I had by acting like a dejected and rejected passive aggressive moron for several days. Once again, my friends came to my aid, saving me from myself. I have mostly Rob to thank for making me see that I was going to blow any chance I had of ever changing her mind if I didn't tone down the drama.
So I did tone it down and I began to repair our relationship. In March, my sister Karen and her friend Jenny came to visit from New York. On the day of their departure to return home, Laureen came with us to the airport. This was pre-9/11 terrorist attacks, and we were allowed to accompany them right to their gate. After some emotional godbyes, and as their plane taxied away from the terminal, I was overcome with emotion and shed some tears, and Laureen was there to comfort me. The next day, I received a wonderful message via Rusty that Laur wanted to take me up on the date , if my offer still stood. It was March 25 of 1994, over 16 years ago.
We dated all through college. We took two classes together. We co-hosted a radio show (the "Until the Midnight Hour Show") for two years. There were Thanksgiving and Easter dinners we prepared in the dorm kitchen and served in the study lounge. There was Too Young to Die (I think Laur was the only girl to score a touchdown all season), $1 moives, 24 hour softball tournaments, lots of late-night walks, countless Tom Thumb runs, $4 pizzas, "Magic Fingers Nick", delicious baked goods care-packages from Laur's mom and candy care-packages from mine. There was a cast of characters too kooky to be real (but rest assured, they were 100% authentic). From "The Man in Black", to "Big Fat Stupid", "The Lawnmower Man", "Not Gay Demetrius", "Table-Butt", Zack "You're Legs Are So Warm" Rappaport, to Nick "No" Moore. We had a penchant for attracting some strange folks. Through it all, we quite literally grew up together (and I had a lot more growing up to accomplish than she did). We laughed a lot. There was a fair share of tears as well. I was often jealous and very short-tempered, and we argued a great deal over trivial things. We even broke up once (for about 15 minutes). But we reconciled and in the end we made it through. Through it all, our friendship and our relationship constantly matured and evolved.
Post-college, there was a period where we had to make a long-distance relationship work. There were tons of 2 hours phone calls semi-monthly visits to each others' homes. We watched our younger siblings mature from essentially children into adults, and then witnessed the same with much-younger cousins. In March of 2000, I proposed on Long Beach Island New Jersey, and Laureen said yes. It was the happiest day of my life. That is of course, until the day of our wedding, which instantly supplanted that day as the happiest day of my life. My face was already damp with tears by the time those double doors opened in the back of the church and from them emerged the most beautiful girl in the world. And then there was no holding them back. The floodgates opened and I was smiling and crying at the same time. I thank God every day for the great fortune in my life. I am married to my best friend, and with every year, every month, every day that goes by, we grow closer. And since our wedding day, I can honestly say that Laureen has provided me with several more days that instantly became the greatest day in my life. There was the day that she told me she was pregnant for the first time. There was the day that our wonderful daughter Erin Margaret was born. And then, there was the day when she told me she was pregnant for a second time.
Laureen- We've now known each other for 17 years. We've been together for over 16 years. We've been married for 9 years. We've been parents for about 5 1/2 years. We've endured several moves, job changes. There have been countless weddings and several funerals. You are the constant in my life. You truly are my best friend. I couldn't imagine life without you. As I tell you all the time... you are the engine that drives this family. You're my rudder in the stormy seas of our life, always bringing me back on course when the winds of stress, chaos and uncertainty have blown me off course. Through all these years, you still make me laugh harder than anyone I know. Your kindness and compassion still fill me with hope. I still marvel at your resolve. Your dedication to our daughter and to our family, your instincts as a Mom make me want to be a better Father and Husband. I still look forward to coming home from work, coming inside, and seeing that sparkle in your eyes. It may sound cliche, but I love you more with every day. Perhaps more importantly, I like and admire you more with every day as well. You never cease to amaze me. I am truly a lucky man to have you and I know it. Happy Anniversary Babe!! I love you with all my heart!!
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