Boy did Erin ever pull out all the stops tonight. She and I ran over to Walgreens together. I had to run in for a few things and brought Erin along because I figured she could pick out a birthday card for Mommy. But then I made the mistake of turning down the toy aisle.
"OOOOHHHH!!!!! DADOO!!! Can I have a ball?"
"You have a ball already Erin, and you hardly ever play with it."
"Yeah... but I only have, like, 3 balls at home. And this one has Spongebob on it. Why can't I have another?"
"You don't need another ball."
"Please Dadoo?"
"No Erin. Come on, let's go."
"Please please please please PLEASE Dadoo."
"No. We're not here for a ball. Let's go."
Then she spots the pillow pets.
"Oh DADOO!!! Can I please have the Ladybug pillow pet? I've wanted her for a long long time."
"Well, your birthday is in a few weeks, so we'll wait and see what happens."
Erin begins to force out some tears (for anyone who has not yet had children of their own... it is pretty clear when your child is crying real tears of sadness or distress versus when they are simply trying to manipulate a situation with some bogus waterworks. This was a clear case of the latter).
"But Dadoo, I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY want the ladybug."
"Erin, I said maybe for your birthday."
Erin puts her head down and under her breath mutters "I guess I'm never going to get one then." Now I'm getting irritated.
"You're right... not with that attitude," I disgustedly reply. "Let's go."
More tears, whimpering, and soft muttering to herself ensue as we make our way through the store filling up our basket. Finished with our shopping, we make our way towards the front of the store, Erin moping all the way. Looking to call a truce (and ultimately losing the battle by rewarding her for her lousy behavior), I say to Erin, "Why don't you pick out a piece of candy for yourself on the way out?"
Erin, of course, makes a beeline for a particular box of Gummi Hamburgers that she has purchased before. On that prior occasion, she ate one of the candies from the box, made a face while complaining about how disgusting it was, and Laur ended up throwing away the entire box of candy.
"Dadoo, I want these."
"No. Put them back and pick out something that you actually like."
More tears. They start out quiet and gentle, but begin quickly to build to a sort of crescendo.
"But I want these... I really like them... they have Spongebob on the box... why can't I have them?"
Deep breath. Have patience, I think to myself.
"Erin, I've bought them for your before and you hated them. I'm not wasting any money on them. Pick out something you like. Maybe a Hershey bar, or a Kit Kat, or a Peppermint Patty."
"Are you mad at me!?!?!?" Borderline hysterics from Erin at this point.
"I'm getting there Erin. Pick out some other candy or you'll get nothing."
"But Dadoo, I really want..."
"That's it! Come on. We're leaving."
"Dadoo, I'll have a Peppermint Patty. Please don't be mad at me."
At this point I am totally flustered myself, trying to figure out how letting my child pick out a piece of candy turned into this traumatic scene. As we head towards the counter, Erin gets in one last, masterful little manipulative comment. She says it quietly, almost under her breath again. It makes me think of Marie Barone from "Everybody Loves Raymond", of all people.
"I guess you don't even want to talk to me anymore. Ever again. This is probably one of the worst days of my life."
As frustrated and angry as I was, it took every ounce of self-control that I possess to not burst out laughing hysterically at this quiet little outburst of melodrama. Sheesh.
Then, as we get to the car, Erin caps off the entire experience with this,
"Dadoo, when we get home, don't tell Mommy about this."
"About what?"
"About THIS... what just happened... you know, in the STORE."
"Umm, OK. Why can't I tell Mommy?"
"Because she'll probably be mad at me."
Double sheesh.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Love Hurts
A few days ago, Laureen explained to Erin how sometimes, when a little boy likes a little girl or vice versa, but doesn't know how to express those feelings, he hits her, or pushes her, etc. So now our darling little daughter has manipulated this in her brain to mean that physical aggression is a sign of affection. Countless random times per day, as Erin is passing me by, she suddenly reaches out and punches me on the arm or on the back. When I respond with an, "Oww... what are you doing?" Erin inevitably replies, "Dadoo, that means I love you."
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
What's Wrong With This Picture?
Watching the opening of Game 4 of the NBA Finals tonight, I was happy when the announcer introduced Kelly Clarkson was going to be singing the National Anthem... I think she has a great voice and was fairly confident that she would sing a nice rendition of it. But then the camera zoomed in on her there on the court in Dallas. She showed up to sing The Star Spangled Banner wearing a skintight, low cut t-shirt and blue jeans. Singing the Anthem at an event like a baseball game or basketball game on national TV is supposed to be an honor. How about dressing the part... she could have easily changed into her jeans and t-shirt when she was done singing. I know, I know... I sound like a grumpy old curmudgeon before I technically qualify as "old". Still, once again, the lack of respect for our National Anthem was in a word, Disappointing...
Send A. WEINER Packing
I have to say that I am not the least bit surprised about the Congressman A. WEINER scandal (that's right, he will henceforth be identified by his apt first initial and last name, which accurately describes not only who he is but what he is). The guy always came across as a smug, arrogant, self-righteous, pompous, little A-Hole. It seems like the biggest loudmouth media whores are consistently the politicians taken down by scandal (with Senator Schumer, mentor to A. WEINER, being possibly the one exception), and Congressman A. WEINER had sure followed in his mentor's foot-steps, becoming quite proficient at saying ANYTHING he needed to in front of a camera in order to raise his public profile. The shame of it is that he'll likely get away wth not resigning his office & still probably get elected Mayor of New York City by the sucker residents there after his congressional post is redisrticted away from him.
This man was always distasteful to me, and for more than simply political reasons. He always just seemed a little off. When this scandal first broke, I told Laureen that it would come out that he sent the photos himself, that nobody "hacked his account." With countless other politicans, I likely would have been willing to grant some benefit of the doubt, but Congressman A. WEINER always seemed like a little bit of a weirdo... a pervert even. It probably sounds crazy, but sometimes you can tell without "knowing" any facts. Charlie Sheen is a perfect example... always seemed a little creepy, a little perverted to me, and boy, has he EVER lived up to that perception recently. I never watched his sitcom because I thought it was creepy to have him on a show with an adolescent... I thought this long before any of the scandals broke about him. A. WEINER was another one, like Sheen, who just exuded this creepy perversion every time he got in front of a camera.
As to whether Congressman A. WEINER should resign his position, I think the answer is a clear and resounding ABSOLUTELY. Set the adultery, greatly offensive in its own right, aside for a second here. And as a quick disclaimer, some might misguidedly believe I have come to this conclusion based solely on his bona fide left wing idealogy and my decidedly opposite worldview. But they'd be wrong. You see, maybe I come across as some kind of prude in our morally relative society, but I think that the people we elect & send to office should be held to a higher standard (or, For God's Sake, at least to the same standard that we hold each other). Think about it in these terms: if you were running a business and you hired an employee to work for you, would you allow him to get away with "sexting" and making phone sex calls from your place of business? Would you allow him to send naked photos of himself to random people, photos that were clearly taken in your business, while he was supposed to be working? I think that the vast majority of us would fire such an employee... and I think we all know we'd VERY likely be fired for such behavior at work. Justifiably so. So why should we give a free pass to a member of Congress. These people work for US. They are employees of the American people. Something happens when they get to Washington. They get some deranged sense of entitlement... start acting like we exist to serve them and they are above the very laws they write, the very laws they serve... it's the other way around, folks... these politicians are in DC by the will and grace of the People, to serve We, the People. It SHOULD outrage you that A. WEINER possessed so little respect for his office that he thought nothing of turning it into some 21st century, electronic version of a bath house. Then he lied about it right to our faces. And these weren't even Clintonesque lies of "I didn't do it"... A. WEINER fabricated a story about a hacker breaking into his account, a la Susan Smith's "A black man kidnapped my children." To me, it is a clear cut sign of contempt for the people who elected him. A. WEINER should not go unpunished. A. WEINER should suffer as punishment a political castration so to speak. Demand his resignation. Send A. WEINER back to NY with his, ahem, TAIL between his legs.
This man was always distasteful to me, and for more than simply political reasons. He always just seemed a little off. When this scandal first broke, I told Laureen that it would come out that he sent the photos himself, that nobody "hacked his account." With countless other politicans, I likely would have been willing to grant some benefit of the doubt, but Congressman A. WEINER always seemed like a little bit of a weirdo... a pervert even. It probably sounds crazy, but sometimes you can tell without "knowing" any facts. Charlie Sheen is a perfect example... always seemed a little creepy, a little perverted to me, and boy, has he EVER lived up to that perception recently. I never watched his sitcom because I thought it was creepy to have him on a show with an adolescent... I thought this long before any of the scandals broke about him. A. WEINER was another one, like Sheen, who just exuded this creepy perversion every time he got in front of a camera.
As to whether Congressman A. WEINER should resign his position, I think the answer is a clear and resounding ABSOLUTELY. Set the adultery, greatly offensive in its own right, aside for a second here. And as a quick disclaimer, some might misguidedly believe I have come to this conclusion based solely on his bona fide left wing idealogy and my decidedly opposite worldview. But they'd be wrong. You see, maybe I come across as some kind of prude in our morally relative society, but I think that the people we elect & send to office should be held to a higher standard (or, For God's Sake, at least to the same standard that we hold each other). Think about it in these terms: if you were running a business and you hired an employee to work for you, would you allow him to get away with "sexting" and making phone sex calls from your place of business? Would you allow him to send naked photos of himself to random people, photos that were clearly taken in your business, while he was supposed to be working? I think that the vast majority of us would fire such an employee... and I think we all know we'd VERY likely be fired for such behavior at work. Justifiably so. So why should we give a free pass to a member of Congress. These people work for US. They are employees of the American people. Something happens when they get to Washington. They get some deranged sense of entitlement... start acting like we exist to serve them and they are above the very laws they write, the very laws they serve... it's the other way around, folks... these politicians are in DC by the will and grace of the People, to serve We, the People. It SHOULD outrage you that A. WEINER possessed so little respect for his office that he thought nothing of turning it into some 21st century, electronic version of a bath house. Then he lied about it right to our faces. And these weren't even Clintonesque lies of "I didn't do it"... A. WEINER fabricated a story about a hacker breaking into his account, a la Susan Smith's "A black man kidnapped my children." To me, it is a clear cut sign of contempt for the people who elected him. A. WEINER should not go unpunished. A. WEINER should suffer as punishment a political castration so to speak. Demand his resignation. Send A. WEINER back to NY with his, ahem, TAIL between his legs.
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